Elysian Fields

Musings, rants, critiques, social commentary, hilarity, conversations about the word poo, and other nonsensical anecdotes.

Monday, March 17, 2008

WCGI 2008

Ah yes...here it is, another March. And with March comes the Madness. What I believe to be the greatest sports competition in human history is going to begin soon. Now don’t think I make this claim simply because I am a huge fan of college basketball; I’m not. I think March Madness is incredible simply because it is really anyone’s game - now of course there are favorites, but let’s look at how things ultimately come down. A good team has a bad day? They’re done, finished, no second chances. It is one of the only times the underdogs really have a chance to become the unsung champions. This event, a massive 64-team single elimination tournament, is the very heart of what Queen’s "We Are The Champions" is all about!

Almost 2 years ago, Nikki and I met Lisa and Andy. It was love at first hanging out; these 2 are our best friends. And they shared something with us that, eventually, we hope to share with the rest of the world: WCGI. Those 4 letters stand for Who Could Get It. Arguably inspired by the insanity of the NCAA tournament, WCGI is a fantasy. Instead of real college teams, each person participating choses a list of celebrities who could...well...get it. It is a fantasy list of celebrities you want to hook up and do somewhere that is the complete antithesis of the backseat of a Volkswagon (read: someplace uncomfortable). Of course there are caveats and what not; however, as I stated before, we are trying to make this into something that others can enjoy with their friends, and hell, maybe total strangers! That is why I am not going to divulge the rules - fret not, faithful fantasizers, we do not intend to charge for this service. We simply want to make a version that everyone can enjoy. But nevermind all of that - this blog is to make you aware of the winners! Each of the winners’ pictures were chosen by the person who selected them; the pictures of the runners-up were selected by my delicate eye for the essence of the individual. I’m good like that.

We will start with Andy - his final choice came down to an epic battle that all of us have waged when devouring an Oreo; do we choose the cookie or the cream? Given my personal proclivities when it comes to the sandwich cookie, I certainly cannot fault Andy for his choice: he chose the cream. So here, ladies and gentlemen (especially the gentlemen), is the winner of WCGI 2008 for Andy: the deliciously, lickable Scarlett Johansson.
I’m quite sure plenty of the guys in the audience recognize Ms. Johansson. The cookie that she bested? In a surprise, she beat out an unexpected contender - the 2-time baby mama of the ex-Mr. Britney Spears, Shar Jackson.
Yes indeed - either way, to this reporter, the appetite would have been satiated.

The lovely Lisa also had an unexpected contender make it to the finals - sadly, however, the underdog did not get his day in the sun. But he fought bravely and valiantly against scores of would-be heartthrobs to earn his place in the finals. So I present - the runner-up for Lisa: Clive Owen.
He does look mighty cool in that picture. Just to assist - in case you didn’t notice, all of the winners have rather LARGE pictures, while the runners-up tend to be a bit smaller. Even in the realm of fantasy size can ultimately matter. Who defeated the man who drew Excaliber to conquer Camelot? I present the victor - Jason Statham.
He’s a manly man, and he has an accent too. My best wishes to Lisa and Mr. Statham on their evening(s) of imagined debauchery.

It seems that for each of us, there was a dark horse candidate that made it to the finals. However, now with Nikki, we actually have one who ultimately took home the prize. The unexpected winner of Nikki’s WCGI 2008: Bruce Willis.
When you see whom Bruce bested, you will understand how he was clearly not the favored winner of the match. Ladies, get the proper absorbent material for Mr. Naked Bongos himself - 2008’s runner-up and last year’s winner, Matthew McConaughey.
Yep...can’t say I saw that one coming.

Lastly, there are my winner and runner-up, which have been the source of both griping and questioning. First, the runner-up - to me it was a no-brainer of sorts and she didn’t really face all that much competition on her way to the finals. I present the nowhere near Ugly America Ferrera.
Now back to that griping I mentioned earlier. Such colorful phases as "How the fuck did she even make it that far?!?" have peppered liberally my selection as she defeated some serious hotties, including last year’s winner, Rosario Dawson. She even bested another finalist from last year, Monica Bellucci. But in the end, I chose whom I wanted...and I wanted Rosario’s co-star from Death Proof, stuntwoman Zoe Bell.
Zoe has been the stunt double for Uma Thurman (who was in this year’s competition) in Kill Bill and Lucy Lawless (a challenger in last year’s WCGI) in Xena: Warrior Princess. Some persons have even alleged that I had been influenced by recent repeat viewings of Death Proof; I do not at all deny that I may have been influenced. Either way, Zoe is who I wanted and ultimately whom I chose.

In an aside...I will admit that I am subject to influence. While I am drawn to America just being adorably herself, had I known of her photoshoot in the UK edition of Marie Claire, I have to confess that the pendulum of my celebrity fantasy lust may have swung differently. See for yourself and decide - until next time...